Hurt
by ReadingFanatic4.22.00
Summary: Pony has a huge crush on Steve Randal, but he knows steve will never return the feeling. After a bad nightmare, and a bad turn of events the start to get closer.
1. Chapter 1

**Pairings:**

 **Steve and Pony**

 **Two-bit and soda**

I do plan on putting Darry in a relationship but i have yet to figure out with who.

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This story is going to be around 10-20 chapters. It will contain graphic scenes so if it upsets you please don't read.

Note: This is a continued version of the outsiders. Where Dally, and Johnny are both dead and Pony and the gang are having to cope with the trauma. And pony develops a crush in the midst of the process.

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Chapter 1 part 1:

1.1

Pony's pov:

My mother always told me about love. I always knew it was a feeling, but it's so much you more. It's an ache, it hurts to not be by them, it drives you crazy, but at the same time it isn't bad because you like having them on your mind. I know this because I am in love. I am in love with the only person I will never be able to have. Steve Randel, has my heart, but he will never take it for know he would never want it.

"Pony baby if you don't finish getting ready for school you're going to be late." Soda said to me. His voice soft and kind because of the nightmare i had last night. Apparently it had been bad, because when i finally noticed my surroundings, Soda, Darry, Two-bit, and Steve had all gathered in my room to see what all the fuss was about. I do remember Darry having to force my pill into my mouth because I just didn't want to go back to sleep. I had kicked and fought to get away from Soda, who had been holding me down. And resorted to pleading with them because I didn't want to go back to sleep. I cried after they managed to get the medication in me, and kept it up until it took affect and drug me back down into the dark.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll wear what I have on."

"Um.. Pony?" Soda's voice now timid.

"Yeah?" Annoyance evident in my voice. Why did Soda need to be like this? It was just a bad dream I will be fine.

"You're wearing pajamas."

"Oh Yeah" Wow good one pony. I'm just going to make him worry more. Realizing my mistake I got up to get ready.

"Baby maybe you should stay home today."

"No!" now angry at my brother, I had to get my point across. "Jesus Soda it was just a bad dream. Will you stop this shit already? I've dealt with them before, and i'll do it again. Got it?!"

"Pony, baby you know I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just worried bout you is all."

I'm fucking 16 and he still feels the need to baby me. Damn this is bullshit. "Look i'm going to walk to school today." I said after I finished putting on my clothes. "So see ya"

"Pony let Two-buit drive ya, at least."

"No i'd rather not see any of them for a while anyways."

As if reading my mind Soda chimed in "Baby they don't think any less of you."

I scoffed and headed out

But of course there was no way I could have the luck and avoid the entire gang downstairs. "Hey pone," Two-bit said "How you feeling?"

I chose to ignore him

"Hey pony," Then there was Darry "Are you feeling okay?"

I'm going to ignore him to.

"Ponyboy curtis, I asked you a question. I would like to get an answer back."

And now he's angry. Right?

"Pony!"

I'm gonna still ignore him.

If they knew how I felt after those dreams they would't ask. The confusion, because I can't remember them, the scared feeling that I can't give an explanation to because there is nothing there, and just the aggravation of it all. Why me? Why those dreams? Why can't i remember? Just why

"I'm walking to school this morning."

And then i'm gone, listening as Darry's voice is becoming less and less prominent. I'm gone rather quickly, but there is no pint in running because there is no way anyone would follow me right now. Right?

Wrong

Here comes Two-bit and Steve in the car next to me. "Come on kid, get in the car." Steve yelled

"No"  
"Get in."

"I don't want to." But the conversation doesn't go on, because my voice is soft, scared, and vulnerable. Instead Steve got out and put me in the car. Undermining my screams of protest "Look kid" He said while placing me in the back "We don't think any less of ya, You just scared us last night is all, and we wanted to make sure you were okay. Ya dig? We won't ask about it if it upsets you. okay?"

"Yeah okay."

The ride is silent from here to the school

"I don't feel like doing anything today." Two-bit said "What about you steve?"

"I'm up for going to Buck's."

"What about you pone?" Steve asked

"I don't know what i want." It wasn't a lie. I've been confused since last night, and i really need to get my head working again. And till then i wouldn't be okay at school. "Yeah i'm up for ditching."

"Yeah!" Two-bit cheered as he sped away.

 **Steves pov** :

Glory that kid scared all of us something awful last night. He screamed and I swear the whole neighborhood hurd. He would beg and scream an imaginary force to stop hurting him, he'd scream for soda, Darry, dally, two-bit, johnny, and the biggest shocker he called out for me. Beggin for help from something none of us could see. I swear to ya the kid flipped out.

So now all of us are being nice to him. Well I guess the only one who had to change was me. So this is going to be a long week. That's about how long i need to be nice, right? Hopefully this will blow over quickly.

"Where are we going?"

Great the kid decided to talk. Fantastic

"Were do you want to go?" Two-bit chimed in

"i'm sleepy. can you just drop me off at the house?"

"Sure kid, want us to stick around?"

"Nah, i'll be fine on my own. Besides Darry gets off early."

"Glory kid why didn't you tell us that. Superman will kill us."

"No, he wont. They wanted me to stay home anyway. They always treat me like a baby afterwards."

Well you are a baby. Can't even sleep by yourself. I thought bitterly.

"Thanks for the ride." Pony said while getting out of the car and heading inside.

After leaving the house two-bit and i rode in an awkward silence. He kept glancing my way and i haven't failed in taking notice.

'What do you want?"

He sighed "Cut the kid some slack will ya. I don't know what he ever did to ya but its enough. He's scared, Dally, and Johnny's death really took a tole on him, and these nightmares really work him up. He don't remember em, and that scares him. He wakes up and doesn't understand why he's so scared. And last time we were all there. You seen it yourself Steve."

I scoffed but said nothing else. He was right, as much as I hated to admit it. So maybe just maybe if the kid keeps from getting on my nerves I will try to treat him better.

Chapter 1 part 2:

1.2

Darry always told me to never give up, to always try. Now when he said that it was never about a sport or anything other than school. Now when he says it he means on life. Everyone thinks that I will just end it. Which is because of that therapist. He told then that its normal, for someone who went through the things I did, to harm or even kill themselves. The way everyone looked at me changed completely. Everyone treated me like a broken mirror. That if they left me alone I wouldn't break any further, and when I was needed they touched me gently. I was a broken mirror, who at some point used enough glue on myself to make myself seem fixed to everyone else.

Darry arrived home right on time. I had already made lunch and was sitting down to eat it when he walked in.

"Pony? " he said alarmed giving me an odd look.

"I just didn't feel like going today Dar."

Looking me up and down he assured me that it was okay that I hadn't went to school because he had prefered that I took some time off. I don't know what everyone expects to happen. Maybe if I had some time off i will forget about everything that happened. That isn't likely. Everything i had witnessed I will never forget. I get that he was worried about me, but Darry was always on me about school, and keeping my grades up. He always pushed me, but now everyone was scared they would push me to far.

I have been pushed to far. This is what everyone is left with.

Lunch was rather quit. With Darry only telling me Soda was working overtime and wouldn't be home till late. He seemed awfully nervous compared to how he usually is.

"Darry what's eatin at you? "

"Pony, I made a call today."

"Over? "

"You."

Sickeningly it occurred to me. Darry had called my doctor to tell him about the things going on. He had mentioned the nightmares, trouble sleeping, and my loss of appetite. I had just managed to get out of going and now they were sending me back.

"How could you?"

"Pony it's for the best."

"No it's not!" I paced around, "How could it be for the best? All there going to do is give me more medicine, and make me talk to a therapist"

"Pony you need to try and get better."

"What Darry? Is there something wrong with me?"

"Pony, please"

"Please nothing. I can't believe you would do sometin like that."

He tried to walk to me but every step he took forward I took one back. "Don't get near me. Ya hear?"

"Pony"

He was treating me so fragile. I knew he though to was going to run, and it does sound like a good idea. Not run away but to get out of the house, so I turned tail and ran. Right out the front door paying absolutely no mind to Darry's yelling.

I can't believe he would do this. Did soda know? Had they talked it over? I Don't need help. So what i watched two friends die, what pills going to help?

I will not stop running till I get out of here.

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 **Steve's pov:**

I considered what Two-bit had said to me about pone. To lighten up on him. But everyone is light on the kid. I remember the first time I got my ass kicked by some socs the gang had babied me except Soda. He had told me it was my fault fir screwing around with some broad that just so happened to be dating one of those socs. And i had needed that, I felt like a child with all the fussing going on. And i'm sure Pony feels the same way.

"Hey, Steve get your head out of ya ass. Once we finish this car we get to head home."

"Okay Soda."

"Something wrong Steve?"

"Just thinkin."

We left the DX about 15 minutes later and we headed straight for the Curtis resident.

"Hey thats Bucks car."

"well i wonder what he's doin at your house."

"Lets see."

We went in to not only find Buck, but Tim, and Curly."

"What's going on guys?"

"Soda Pony ran away."


	2. Chapter 2

**Pairings:**

 **two-bit and soda**

 **Steve and pony**

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 **This story will be short around 10-20 chapter.**

 **Be patient with my lack of updates**

 **I want to pair Darry with someone but I have no idea who**

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 **Chapter 3: I may just be able to slow down**

Pony's pov:

Well I was wrong about that. Not exactly the first time I've been wrong and honestly I wasn't surprised I would run into someone. If I believed in stuff like this I would assume it was the universe trying to tell me something. For instance don't run away and don't fuck up my life more than I already have. Frankly I will always choose to ignore any signs that may improve my own life. Which are never words of my own but something Darry would say to me. Usually I would dismiss those snarky, but usually right, comments; however, that isn't now.

I've ran a good way, before I ran into Steve,knocking us both to the ground in a painful crash that left us both groaning on pain.

"What the hell? Do you have any idea how to watch where you're going?"

He looked up seeing it was me and instantly his expression softened. After the incident everyone started treating me differently. Slowly Soda and Two-bit have started acting normal around me again. But Darry and Steve are still acting differently. Darry tiptoes around me like he is walking on egg shells, and Steve is being nicer to me, here recently. A welcomed change but I wished it had come because of a different reason.

"God kid we have been looking everywhere for you. Where have you been?"

"I've just been walking around."

"You have been gone for almost 2 hours. That's a long walk."

"well I needed some time to think."

"Did you get some thinking done?"

In fact I had done a lot of thinking. I figured Darry didn't make this decision on his own. That means that Soda new and usually if soda new Steve did too. Everyone probably knew, there aren't many secretes between most of us, and its better that they new now instead of later. Got to find the messed up kid before he can hurt himself, throw him into therapy, maybe that will fix him.

Yeah right, that's not going to happen. I still look at my hands and see the blood of my friends on them. Talking will not clean the blood off.

"It's not fair"

"I know kid." He wrapped me up in his arms hugging me tight to him, rocking us a little while I cried. I don't know when I started crying but I guess its okay.

"I just want to keep running, and never stop." I sobbed

"I know, but Pony you need to slow down."

"I can't Steve." I cried. Pulling on his shirt in hopes of moving myself closer to him. I clung to him like my lifeline and cried the way I should have months ago.

"It's going to be hard Pony, but you are not alone. Were going to be here with you the whole way."

I nodded a little to show Steve I had heard and acknowledged what he had told me. Steve encouraged me to stand up and as we were dusting ourselves off he spoke up to me, "My car isn't far from here lets get going.

* * *

After walking in a comfortable silence with Steve we came up on his car parked over by the lot. "Steve?"

"Yeah..?"

"Can we just sit in your car for a while?"

"Now why do ya want to do that kid?"

"I'm not done thinking."

"Okay we will stay here for a little while."

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 **Steves pov:**

The kid got in my car a laid down in my seat. Curled in between his door and my leg, hugging himself tightly as he chewed on his lip. He looked off into space barley paying attention to me. I placed my hand in his hair just resting it there to give the kids an myself some comfort. He's been through a lot and I figure that's why we were all so worked up bout this. Afraid for the kid. Scared he might get himself hurt, and none of us thinks he can take much more.

"Pony don't be mad at all of us, were just worried bout ya."

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The drive back to the Curtis house was awfully quite. Pony asleep in the front seat and myself being lost in my own head and to worried to turn the radio on. I guess the kid has had pretty much all he could take. Once before he had been happy now all he seems to do is avoid anything of the sort. He walks around as if he is in a trance. Everyone is worried about him and are treating him so fragile. I on the other hand may not treat him the way I used to but I still act sort of the same around him. But that makes me an ass hole, as everyone says, I apparently don't know how to show sympathy for someone who has been hurt. No, I know how to show it, but when its the sympathy that is upsetting the kid more I chose not to give it to him.

Sue me I guess I just don't know anymore, but I figure no one knows what to do anymore. The kid is becoming reckless. He ain't using his head, not like he used it much before, but he is going to keep on till he gets hurt. He figtn a lot now, and winning most of them. We all know he's angry, but he ain't cooling down. That's why Darry talked to all of us. Told us what day he was gonna talk to Pony and asked us to be scarce that day. The conversation just happened to be a bit early because Pony decided not to go to schools today. But after we all showed up to find out Pony had run away again we all went in different directions to find him. Worry and shock setting in on some of us because of what had happened last time.

Quickly arriving at the house I decided to wake Pony because I doubted I could carry him. "Come on kid you gotta wake up."

Groggily the kid sat up "Steve where are we?"

"Well you fell asleep so I decided to drive ya back home."

"Oh," he sounded upset

"Come on kid lets head inside."

After going inside and no one was there we decided it was because they were all out still looking for Pony, so we sat down on the couch together waiting for everyone's return.

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The first ones to get back was Buck, Tim, and Curly. There reaction were pretty calm saying things like, "Told you the kid was okay," and things like "Figured he'd come home."

After the small reunion of giving a few manly hugs and pats on the back they told them they would be heading out and if they saw any of the gang they would tell them to call of the search because the kid found his way home.

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Then came two-bit in, who looked mighty happy to see Pony. Jumping around like a dog that just saw his owner after days of being left alone. He asked questions, so concerning, and others just stupid.

Told us that he ran into Tim and them and that they told him to head on home. Two-bit had also said that none of them had ran into Soda and Darry so it may be a while before they return.

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And lastly came Darry and Soda

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 **Hoping to update soon, but I'm not really sure when it will happen. Sorry**

 **This chapter isn't really the best, but i'm hoping that my writing improves while I go along.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Just here to say that I have been making the chapters longer by adding chapters 1 and 2 together and chapter 3 and 4 together. So that why it said I have updated even though I haven't. However, I have been working on an update right now. I hope to have it posted by the weekend or sometime in the middle of next week. I'm sorry about how I update you guys but I have been extremely busy with schools and everything and that's no good excuse but it all I have to give.**

 **Just here to apologize for it, and tell you all that I hope to be able to update soon.**


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